Monthly Archives: January 2013

Victim-blaming

Um, for the record (just putting this out there because it’s been on my mind lately) if you’ve ever been abused — whether emotionally, physically, verbally, sexually — and/or if you’ve been raped, it is NEVER your fault. I don’t care how you were dressed, or what you were drinking, or what bad decisions you’d been making behind closed doors. It is NOT your fault, EVER. It is ALWAYS the perpetrator’s fault, and NEVER the victim’s. I’m just very tired of hearing stories of people who were raped or abused and were afraid to tell anyone because they were called “slut” or told that “they deserved it”. NO. YOU DID NOT. NOBODY deserves that, EVER, NO MATTER WHAT they did. THE END.

This goes for men and women alike. I mean it. If someone has hurt you this way, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME.

And to everyone who is blessed enough to have not been abused in these ways, can we PLEASE stop blaming the victims. Please. Let’s not teach our girls how to avoid rape, but instead teach our boys to JUST NOT RAPE. I think that would be much more effective, since how a girl (or boy) dresses actually has nothing to do with whether or not she gets raped, and whether or not a boy (or girl) decides to rape someone else has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that they think everyone else will blame the victim.

Also, let’s talk about this argument: “You wouldn’t put meat on a hook in front of a shark and expect him not to eat it.”

Well, here’s the thing (and this may come as a shock to you): men are not sharks. They are men. In making this argument you liken men to nothing more than blood-thirsty, instinct-driven animals who are incapable of controlling themselves or making the choice to simply walk past a scantily clad woman. And if that’s what you are, then why the heck have we entrusted the vast majority of this planet’s governments to you?! I don’t want to live in a world lead by animals!

This is not me lobbying for a feminist-rule thing here. I have no problem living in a country lead by  a man who respects his wife and daughters enough to see them as something more than food, anymore than I would have a problem living in a country lead by a woman who shows the same respect towards her husband (or wife, as the case may be). But if all men are basically sharks, and all women are basically meat, we need to get the sharks out of power as soon as possible or myself and my fellow turkey dinners are screwed.

Do you see why the argument doesn’t work? Because I do, and I am beyond sick of hearing it.

So let’s just stop. Stop blaming the victims. There is nothing more to it. Blame the abuser, not the abused. The end, that’s all, goodbye.

This was meant to be a shorter post than it ended up being. Oh well.

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